Day 8. By now, you’ll know it can be an emotional rollercoaster. Each day feels like a continuous cycle of falling in love followed by depression because you were dumped. Sometimes I feel a deep loss for the food, like I will never eat again. Thankfully I realize, of course, that this is not true and the feelings pass.

It is also interesting how much I CRAVE, and want to eat. The “thoughts” themselves don’t really go away, but the sting of the actual cravings do subside. I am the fish and the craving is the baited hook; it’s so tempting. That is perhaps my favorite part of the Lemonade Diet: I learn each time that I am not my thoughts. I am not a biological machine on autopilot, controlled by the subconscious ramblings of my mind. These are the same thoughts that make us eat when we are depressed, or bored. Those two unhealthy relationships with food lead us to the weight gain from which we are trying to purge ourselves.

Another relationship I have with food is that I LOVE it. I love eating. The tastes and smells of world cuisine. While this in itself isn’t an unhealthy relationship, perhaps my choice to eat until I no longer am capable – so I can continue to taste as much as possible – is. In fact, I am certain it is.

A final cause for caloric in-balance is drinking. I like to booze. I drink beer and plenty of it. That’s a great deal of calories. Not only that, but going home (from the bar, from a friend’s), I then want fast food and lots of it. And in the morning, hungover, I want fast food again. Simply: the trifecta of weight gain.