I’m not going to kid, I’m not exactly thrilled about this whole idea. Don’t get me wrong, I want to have more energy, care for my body better and be healthier. But that doesn’t mean I want to eat just lemons everyday and flush my colon with a disgusting elixir every morning. All that said, I am here, I’m doing it, join me for the ride!
Ok, now that I got that little bit of whining and self pity out of the way, I think I’m good to go. Allow myself to introduce my…self. Ahh-em! My name is Jeff McLeod.
I am a business partner of Mike Olaski (the kind soul who orchestrates this entire website, and to a certain extent drives The Master Cleanse Community). What I do for TMC.org is more related to technology and marketing. I built the membership portion of the website for those of you who are part of The Cleanse Master’s Club (if you’re not, you should be…but more on that later).
I’ve been working with Mike for several months now, and leading up to the group cleanse that Mike organizes (one is about to start on Jan 10th) I decided that I would do The Master Cleanse with the group for the first time in my life! Maybe I should give you some background about who I am. I’m just a regular Joe, with a regular job, your average white, suburbanized slob. I like football, and porno, and books about war. I’ve got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor! My wife and my job, my kids and my car, I’ve got my feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar! Ok, I’m just kidding, those are lines from a Denis Leary song.
Truth is I’m a pretty healthy guy. I eat my own brand of muesli in the morning and usually get three meals in each day. Don’t notice too much if my food is organic. But I do try to stay away from anything with white sugar or white flour in it. I think by most accounts I’m a pretty average dude. My dietary habits are probably just a bit better than the average Canadian. I’d probably give myself a grade of B- if eating habits were a test.
Alright, let’s get to the good stuff. So here’s my experience so far…
I wake up, and go to the computer to review exactly what I’m supposed to do today. Oh right, raw, unprocessed foods. So basically fruits and veggies, uncooked. I decide my best bet is salads (of both the fruit and vegetable variety, respectively). On the way to the grocery store I start to wonder what I will use as a salad dressing. The only thing I can come up with is freshly squeezed lemons. I start to feel like lemons are running my life.
On the way to the grocery I see a Booster Juice. I don’t know if you have these down in the States, but Booster Juice is basically an all organic fresh juice and smoothy shop. Jackpot! The smoothies look so good, but I read some place that I should stay away from too much fruits today as the high sugar intake will make me moody (Mike probably wrote that, what a jerk). So instead I opt for “The Green Hornet”. This is some blend of uber healthy veggies that only fruit nuts or hippies would order. But looks who’s talking now, right?! (the kind young Asian boy behind the counter suggests I add some apples to make it a little sweeter if I’m not used to this. Good call Asian boy!)
To my surprise the mixture isn’t that bad. In fact, it’s pretty bland and unintrusive. I feel this odd combination of delight and chagrin. Hmmm, didn’t expect that. Off to the grocery store.
I decide I’m going to buy a couple pre-made fruit salads, a lemon to squeeze on the salad I already have in the fridge (I can’t believe I’m voluntarily turning to lemons with this huge lemonade diet just around the corner), some sea salt, maple syrup and some oranges (which are all I’ll be eating on Sunday, when the Ease-In Day 3 Diet is strictly orange juice.)
Pre-made fruit salads, check. How many oranges am I going to need? I pull out the old trust iPhone from my utility belt and pose my question, ‘how many oranges do you need to make a liter of orange juice?’ WTF, nobody on the entire world wide web has an answer?!?! Finally some poor soul writes a 2 paragraph disclaimer that she doesn’t actually know the answer, BUT her experience, which may be wrong, has shown that two lemons makes 8 oz. Hmmm… how much is 8 oz? “iPhone, how many liters in 8 oz?”
“Fluid or solid oz, master?”
“US oz or UK oz, master?”
“Thank you iPhone, you are dismissed”
In my search I find out that Naval oranges are just for eating, and Valencia oranges are for juicing. But this grocer doesn’t carry Valencia oranges. I guess all that math was for not. I’ll have to get the oranges elsewhere.
Oh look, maple syrup right there! But there are soooo many brands of it. And none of them say they are organic. What to do, what to do? Well, I’ve been to the cabane à sucres (that’s French Canadian for Sugar Shack) where they make this stuff. I’ve watched them tap the tree for sap, then boil the crap out of it. That’s got to be pretty organic, n’est pas? In the basket it goes.
Now on to sea salt. Crap, none of the recommended brands here. “iPhone, tell me everything I need to know about sea salt for The Master Cleanse.” (just as a sidenote, sometimes my iPhone makes me feel like Neo from the Matrix). Apparently I’m good with any sea salt that isn’t iodized. Okie dokie, let’s take a peak. One says it is iodized. The other says nothing. Hmmmm, “iPhone, tell me everything there is to know about this brand of sea salt!” By Geezus, they don’t even have a website! And there’s no info on them. Alright, guess I’m rolling the dice on this one. I’ll ask Mike about it later.
And I’m on my way! It wasn’t until about half way home that I realized I’d forgotten the lemon. Guess I’m eating dry salad for dinner… yum?
I should probably tell you this as well. Every January I go alcohol free. I don’t want to give the impression that I abuse alcohol, but I do like to drink. I’m in my mid 20’s and I like to go out on weekends. During the week I like to meet up with my brother for a beer from time to time. When I’m making dinner wine helps me enjoy the moment. And from time to time I’ll meet up with my buddies for a Rye and Ginger after work. So not drinking for 31 days straight (especially after building up a likening to it over the xmas holidays) is tough! The first time I did it two years ago I got through ok, but had a huge boozing night my first weekend in Feb. Last year I think I made it until day 20 or so, and caved in while out at a club with my friends (I don’t care what anyone says, environment does affect behaviour). But this year I am totally committed to it! And it’s a damn good thing. I don’t know how I’d cope if I had to cut out alcohol, coffee, cookies (this is my weakness), meat, and everything else on the planet for two weeks! But I’ve got 7 days already under my belt of no alcohol, and I stopped drinking coffee 4 days ago to get myself prepped.
How am I feeling?
No difference so far. That said, I have certainly noticed that there aren’t a lot of options out there for people who want to eat raw/unprocessed. I was hoping I could just go to a restaurant instead of having to hit the grocers, but that ain’t easy. That’s when I noticed that there aren’t a lot of public options for healthy eating at all! Don’t get me wrong, they do exists, but make up only a fraction of the options out there. A very small fraction.
The time is now 1:07pm, and I just finished my fruit salad while I was typing. It was pretty damn good. I think melons give me acid reflex.
My outlook moving forward?
I’m both excited and scared. I am speaking at a conference all weekend. On stage from 9-4:30 each day I think. This kind of scares me. It makes following the ease in diet tough, as I have to leave the house at around 7am and don’t get back until around 7pm. And I’m spending the entire day at a hotel I haven’t been to before. I have no idea the resources I will have around me (ie, what the restaurant there is like). So looks like I will have some early mornings making veggie juices and oj. Maybe I’ll buy some V8 and bring it with me (I know this is somewhat processed, but man’s gotta do…)
Aside from that, I’m pretty excited to get started with the lemonade. I am a bit intimidated by the SWF, but I’m sure I’ll survive. Stick with me on this little journey. Feel free to send in questions, comments or suggestions.
The Cleanse Masters Club Guided Cleanse is Now Open
I mentioned that before that you can register to do the group cleanse with other people, or you can join the Cleanse Masters Club. I just wanted to tell you why I’m doing the Cleanse Masters Club.
This is my first time doing this cleanse, or any cleanse for that matter! In the Cleanse Masters Club I have access to the most elite gurus in the industry. People like Peter Glickman, the bestselling author of Lose Weight, Have More Energy & Be Happier in 10 Days, Tom Woloshyn, the bestselling author of The Complete Master Cleanse, Mike Olaski, the man behind TheMasterCleanse.org, Gerry Robert, mindset guru and bestselling author of The Millionaire Mindset and several others. It’s reassuring to me to know I have the experts behind me guiding me through what could be a very difficult, and potentially unhealthy process (if not done properly).
I know Mike originally designed this club to be for expert cleansers, to show them how to optimize there cleansing experience. But I talked him into make it applicable for newbies like me too. If you’re serious about completing the cleanse safely and getting the most out of the cleansing experience, be sure to check out the club.