Two days down, eight to go! Hmmm, that doesn’t sound that good, does it? Well if I include the ease-in and the ease-out it’s more like five down, eleven to go. Shoot! That sounds even worse!!! Ok, how about, I’ve successfully managed to stick to a diet for the first time in my life for five days. A very difficult diet. All I need to focus on is completing one more day successfully. Ahhh, that’s much better.
Day Five
Lots of good, deep sleep last night!
I wake up for the second day in a row dreading what is to come. Sleep was pretty good, feeling pretty refreshed. This time, my dread for a different reason than yesterday. The Notorious Salt Water Flush!!! “It tastes like dead people,” “you’ll practically s*** your brains out!” “If you do it wrong you’ll probably die.” So I get up, hop on the website to check out The Salt Water Flush (SWF), review the method and go to it. Between the lips and through the gums look out colon here it comes! Then I sit down to do some work.
About 20 mins later I feel a little rumble in my tummy. As instructed I try to deny the urge for as long as I can, until finally body screams at me, “POOP IS COMING!!!” That’s my queue! Now I’m going to spare you some of the details, but you need to understand that cleansing the system is not a pretty topic. So you have to expect some level of grossness. If you don’t want to read about my bowel movements, I’ll try to make it easy on you. I’ll make all of the text regarding my BMs in brown, so you can easily identify and skip over it.
I was pretty surprised at how small my first BM was. I’m not going to talk volume here, but it wasn’t like the ones I had read about (ok, that sounded a little perverted, whatever). It was heavily diluted with water, but still carried a lot of gross stuff. And the smell was absolutely putrid! After the first one was done I went back to work. I never really had a strong urge again, but I was getting impatient to have my first lemonade of the day to after about 45 minutes of no excitement, I went for number two #2, if you know what I mean. This one was pretty small, and basically clear liquid. Boring!
This is the salt that didn't clean my colon right! I'll get you next time!!!
So given the fact I only had two #2s (and my second one hardly counts) I think I ought to play with the salt content. I double checked to make sure I had appropriate salt. Mike gave me the big thumbs up over skype video. I used about one tablespoon of salt, so maybe that’s too much. The original recipe says two teaspoons. That’s what I’ll try tomorrow.
I realized today that my mixture has been a little bit off. I’m doing about 3 1/2 tablespoons of lemon, with 2 tablespoons of syrup, about half a teaspoon of cayenne pepper, and half a liter (or 16oz) of water. Oops! Cayenne is way high, and syrup is way low. That can only mean the drink is going to get better. So I adjust my ratios through out the day. Once I get them right, I have to admit, it’s kind of tasty. I mean if you take the cayenne out it’s damn good! I’d drink that on a nice summer day! I force my roommate to take a sip (after much prodding, convincing, and begging!) and she agrees that it’s actually pretty good. We joke that because it’s made with maple syrup it should be called a Canadian Lemonade!
The rest of the day is very much like the day before. Everything goes fairly smooth, I’m kind of cold the whole day. I decide to wear a vest today to try to keep my core temp a little higher. It’s definitely helping. And I barrow my roommate’s slippers in conjunction with my wooliest socks.
The only way I'm surviving!
Through out the day I am posting stuff on Facebook about the blog and the cleanse and I start to come under attack. Here are some of the messages I receive:
something about not eating for 3 days just doesn’t make sense to me….wouldn’t it be easier to just make eating healthy a regular part of your lifestyle than to cleanse?
Apparently it works better Jeff if you also shave your head at the same time and stick a parsley leaf in your belly button.
Hey Jeff! I am highly against “cleanses.” They disrupt the body’s chemical balance, and can damage your digestive system. I would recommend if you’re wanting to “cleanse” yourself that you eat clean. Lots of veggies, water, lean protein, and complex carbs. Limit processed food, pop, coffee and alcohol. That will get your body “regular” and feeling better. When you’re body is put into “starvation mode” your metabolism slows down to conserve energy. When you start eating again, it’s highly likely that you will gain back any weight you lost. On top of that you probably will feel irritable, light headed and hungry with the lack of carbohydrates you are consuming. Just some food for thought. Here’s a link I found. Wishing you a happy and healthy 2011!
http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Master-Cleanse-Diet%2C-is-it-Good-Or-Bad%3F&id=2358486
All of these people legitimately care for me and are just looking out for me, I know that. The first one is pretty innocent, the second one is pretty funny (especially since I shaved my head again last night into a more distinct mohawk) and the third one comes from a friend who competes (competed?) in women’s body sculpting. So she has pretty go insight into health and fitness.
None the less, it kind of put me on the defensive. I read all the articles before I started this cleanse, I spoke with the experts. And I made my decision. Just incase anyone is wondering about the statements in that third comment, let me clarify:
Hey Jeff! I am highly against “cleanses.” They disrupt the body’s chemical balance, and can damage your digestive system.
Your body goes into starvation mode when it runs out of calories to burn (simple equation, calories consumed minus calories burnt gives you net change of calories for the day). Because of the maple syrup I am consuming over 1,000 calories per day. I am not doing any physical activity right now, so I’m quite safe.
I would recommend if you’re wanting to “cleanse” yourself that you eat clean. Lots of veggies, water, lean protein, and complex carbs. Limit processed food, pop, coffee and alcohol. That will get your body “regular” and feeling better.
I totally agree with this statement. My belief is the key to good health is to drink a tonne of water each day, eat a little fruits, lots of veggies, nuts, seeds, lean protein and complex cards. Exercise regularly, and get 7 hrs of sleep each night. And spend an hour each day keeping your mind/spirit/emotions in balance. Avoid pop, at all costs and stay away from white sugar and white flour as much as possible. Mild amounts of chocolate, coffee and alcohol are good for you. Don’t overdose on anything (turkey, chocolate, alcohol, etc).
When you’re body is put into “starvation mode” your metabolism slows down to conserve energy.
To combat the slowing metabolism cayenne pepper is taken with each lemonade. Cayenne pepper is a natural metabolism booster. None the less, my metabolism is lower than usual. Over an extended period of time, this is probably pretty bad for you. Over ten days, I am not worried.
When you start eating again, it’s highly likely that you will gain back any weight you lost.
I damn well better gain back some weight. I don’t have much to spare. I did notice today for the first time that I’ve lost some serious inches (believe it or not). I’m swimming in my shirts, and I had to take my belt in an extra notch. I definitely didn’t do this cleanse to lose weight, but I know it is unavoidable. As soon as I get off the cleanse I am going straight into Shaun T’s Insanity Workouts. I’m hoping to take advantage of this smaller body and put on some very lean muscle.
On top of that you probably will feel irritable, light headed and hungry with the lack of carbohydrates you are consuming.
I’ve been pretty lucky I think so far. I haven’t been irritable at all (except for maybe one call with Mike last night, but I think he still loves me). My roommate and my girl haven’t mentioned anything. And I don’t think that they would hesitate for even a second.
Just some food for thought. Here’s a link I found. Wishing you a happy and healthy 2011!
Thanks my friend! See, she does care about me. The link she sent me was very similar to some other articles I’ve read. I kind of get the feeling that they are all based off of similar information. The article seems to have a somewhat biased slant to it, and I don’t feel like most of the info applies to me. I do agree that if you are on this cleanse to lose weight you can probably expect to gain most of the weight right back.
I also post these blogs on my personal blog (jeffmcleod.ca), and have got some comments their as well. I will share one with you tomorrow that is particularly insightful, and references how The Master Cleanse may be just as much a cleanse of the mind as it is of the body.
How do I feel?
I’m starting to fall into a rhythm, which is of course very nice. I’m also glad that I’m passed all of the unknowns. From here on out, I pretty much know what to expect. I do feel somewhat discouraged that I still have soo many days to go. It feels like I’ve been on this cleanse for a week now, but I’m only on day two. Mentally I’ve pretty much come to grips with the fact that I’m not eating. Which is kind of weird I guess.
My outlook moving forward?
I think I’ve dealt with the hardest parts already. I have two big challenges coming up. On Friday I have a big going away part with friends. We are going out for dinner, then to a club. It will be very difficult to be around so many close friends eating a drinking and not be able to do either. Every January I take the month off of drinking alcohol. I did this for the first time two years ago, and succeeded. I tried again last year and failed just passed the halfway mark. The night I failed I was out with a similar group of friends at the exact same club we are going to. I guess this is my chance for vengeance!
The following day I will be on a flight for about 5 hrs. It’s international, so I have to get to the airport 2 hrs early. Then when I touch down I will have to pass though security, get my bags, and drive to my place. I imagine door to door I’m at about 9 hrs. The plan is to make some concentrate and bring it with me, or make the concentrate when I arrive at the airport. Either way, that will likely be my toughest day of the entire cleanse. Mike and I are planning to do a short QnA about how I will strategize to get through the day without passing out at 30,00 ft. I’ll post the link in the next coming blog post.
